Walking with weight

Today was my first hike with my backpack and weight inside😁 I am gonna have to work my way up to the full amount I need to carry but today I started out with 15-18 lbs on my back. Double peak is a pretty short hike but still gets you sweating. I think 2 miles up hill and 2 down!
As I started the climb I found my self sweating faster (and I went around 7:00 this morning the sun was barley out 😂) but I was feeling the extra weight!

I love how God speaks to us in all sorts of ways! Over the last couple of years God’s been teaching me to seek him and hear him in different ways! Especially the past 4 months when I was pushed out of my normal routine, out of my comfort zone (an entirely different story) but it’s forced me to hear God and communicate with him in a new way!
As I was working my way up the hill, I felt God tell me “it’s not as easy walking this journey with extra weight on your back is it?” I do this hike once or twice a week and normally don’t struggle to much but today I felt the difference! It made me look at my life and ask myself what weight have I picked up in my life that was never mine to carry?
Unforgivness of others or myself? Carring what others think of me? Control- wanting my kids and husband to act/think a certain way? Worry- not trusting God with providing all our need and delivering on his promises! Fear of the future and wondering if we will ever move out of my mom’s back yard🤦🏼‍♀️😂 I could keep going.. all these weights we pick up along the road that God never asks us to carry!

Matthew 11:30 came to me where Jesus says “for my yoke is easy and my burden is light”

I have experienced this only in seasons but somehow I pick it all back up, over and over again I throw the weight back on and crash and burn out!

So this is one of the things I am learning through hiking, to truly let go of the things that’s out of our control and lighten our weights. God’s with us always so why not let him carry our packs for us like he offers🙌🏼

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Date Night

I love my date nights with my husband!! He works so hard and yesterday I decided to surprise him. Used my out back gift card the boys gave me for mothers day and ordered food to go. Set up a picnic on the beach and went boogie boarding and watched the sunset! Followed by desert and a movie on Netflix!

We have been together almost 20 years and have learned over the last several years how important these date nights truly are for our marriage!
You have no idea how many years of our marriage we have wasted being mad at each other, not talking, complaining about one another and so many times wanting to just end this marriage and move On!

Can I be really honest with you? Most of our marriage was held together by our children! We were stuck. Neither of us could afford to LEAVE each other! We would sleep in different rooms and go weeks without talking with one another! IF either one of us made enough to divorce each other I am pretty sure we would not be married today! But sometimes blessings come in the most craziest of ways! They feel nothing close to a blessing, I would even say they could feel like a total set back, a mistake, prayers gone unanswered!

Only through time and perseverance are we then able to see what God is up too!
It’s so easy to get focused on trying to figure out where God is and what He is/isn’t doing in our seasons of hardship and struggle that we miss his very presence right in the current!

Oh how many times I have had to apologize to God for cursing what he was blessing! For accusing him of not hearing me or answering my prayers! Allowing me to suffer and struggle through so much pain!
Emotions and feelings can be so strong that they blind us from seeing with a correct perspective!

I am so thankful that God knew how to save my marriage when I didn’t! He knew how to save my son when I was about to abort him! He knew how to deliver me when I wanted to end my life! He knew how to strengthen me when I felt weak beyond words!
He taught me to love when I didn’t know i was even capable! All of God’s work in my life have come through pain, hardship and

struggle!

My marriage is far from perfect but I can honestly say I can’t remember the last time we fought! Our circumstances are still hard and many prayers are still unanswered but we have so much Joy and laughter and confidence in God that he is working (like he does) behind the scenes…and in time all of this current hardship will make sense like all the rest we have been through.

Isaiah 55: 8 says “for my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are your ways my ways.”

He is so faithful! He is showing me that he does not want me trying to figure him all out or take control over every situation but to simply trust him ( even when it makes no sense) and obey! When God leads us we end up right where we were always ment to be!